‘Meant For That’ (Early/1998)

would that it was her own worst nightmare
this peppermint vision of ovarian troubles
a spear in the gut

there is nothing so easy as failure, mother
and there’s much I need to say
though I make no real claim to wisdom

I picture you at home by yourself,
the television on
arms folded
you have no idea how angry you look
to little seven year old girls and boys
I consider the paradox of procreation
the rum settles the ice
I reinvent the ink I’ve been avoiding for 3 months
and mull over the life I’ve lived
the friends women and moments in between
I cannot find room in the world for a woman
who believes herself to be meant for that
having brought two lives here
on desks, floors, maybe beds

I’m looking for you
is the honest truth
I have no anger left
though I am tired before my time, I think
and I have no use for blame anymore

I live my life for the piano solos
warm weather and soft lips
your spiral into misery fucks me up
the possibility of that melody becoming mine
is something that keeps me up at night,
thinking where it all goes wrong

1 July 2011, 06:33