An Open Letter To Dick Cheney

Dear Dick,

Hi. Over the weekend, I read up on your surgery with a lot of interest. To be honest, I’d flat-out forgotten that our technology was capable of moving hearts between humans, and, well… Wow.

Congratulations! This is amazing news; the opportunity is mind-boggling.

To live every single heartbeat of the life ahead of you fully cognizant of the gift – to consider the best qualities of the human whose heart beats in your chest – to discover a new purpose for this rebuilt you - it makes my head spin.

I mean – we’re talking about your heart. This is major. You, sir, are new.

One aspect of my day involved a glorious bike sprint out to King’s Highway to make some key copies (long story, another time). Whipped by 15-20 mph winds under open sun, threading through the cement trucks and eighteen-wheelers, soaking in the fast view of streets I’d never seen before (and I’m a native, mind you), I had some time to think about what you could do with this new-to-you heart.

Because what really struck me was the detail that you’ve had five heart attacks total, the first at 37 (quite young, though there is the thought that every heart attack is too soon). One can’t really argue with data like that, and I’m led to suspect that you have some habits that deserve reconsideration.

I’m young myself—still just a boy, really—but I’ve figured out a few small solves, and maybe they’d be useful to you in this next phase of your life.

BIKE YEAR-ROUND — It’s the fastest way I know to get anywhere, it’s exhilarating, it’s free, it builds character, and one day you realize you don’t need elevators, either.

EAT WELL, AND MODESTLY — With the good stuff, it only takes a little, and it’s so much more fun to share.

LOVE YOUR KIDS LIKE IT’S GOING OUT OF STYLE — The way we love them is a reflection of how we love ourselves.

SMILE MORE — We’re all better looking when we do.

BE WITH NATURE — It’s home. Go there frequently.

TREAD GENTLY — We’re borrowing this, all of it.

None of us are our pasts. Turn history on its ear. Let’s see what this new heart can do.

Your fellow citizen,

26 March 2012, 16:56


  1. Word. But really, the technology that is keeping that worthless corpse alive is fascinating:

    — Eric J · 2425 days ago · #